Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Of Mothers and Daughters and Birthday ~ Oh No!

Motorcycle Vector Graphics

“Probably there is nothing in human nature more resonant with charges than the flow of energy between two biologically alike bodies, one of which has lain in amniotic bliss inside the other, one of which has labored to give birth to the other. The materials are here for the deepest mutuality and the most painful estrangement.” 

Adrienne Rich, Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution

Last week Lady Blue and I joined the Tall Texan in a hunt for a good used 250 bike  for me.  She had to join us of necessity as she can no longer be left alone.  Over the weekend she told the Texan that if I got a bike she would never forgive him.  It was his fault, as far as she was concerned.  He used to have a bike after all.  She lectured long and hard about what kind of people use bikes.  All this polemic deeply rooted in the prejudices of her youth.  She called me white trash.  "Okay if you really are white; I'm of mixed race"... that undiplomatic moment bought me 10 minutes of peace in the 45 minute drive to Reno.  Once in Reno we met up with our friend the Tall Texan and he did the work of investigating bikes.  He examined them, listened to them, asked all the right questions about maintenance, dents and other suspect things.  I just mounted and dismounted...if I can't get on and off there will be no riding!  We didn't find the ONE.  I got back in to the car and she said "You look okay on a bike"  - it was a full pardon!  What a moment in time!

A  week later:  
"We wanted to put 65 candles on you cake but it would have to be the size of a coffin!"  ~Unknown

Today Lady Blue is silent.  She is giving me the evil eye and responding with one word answers.  She is angry because last night she told me to get my hair out of my eyes and I said "NO" albeit in a less than diplomatic tone.  This diplomacy is really hard!  I reckonned that a 64.999 year old can have her too curly bangs in her eyes if she wants (would that be a 2 or a 15 year old regression?).  She knows it is my birthday but then she has never really celebrated it with me.  So what the heck does she care.  I actually don't care about the birthday either but the silent routine is really getting annoying.  My son sent me roses!  It has worsened her mood.  She has memory loss.  How long do you suppose this can go on?

" 'Andie slammed the car door. "You know what I'd like for Christmas, Flo? Boundaries. You can gift me early if you'd like.' ” 
 Jennifer Crusie, Maybe This Time


the walking man said...

Put your bangs where you want to and your dents only where you have to...have a great birthday Melinda and don't worry about the stink eye it is counteracted with a good loud fart! All bikers are proud of their flatulence!

Brian Miller said...

how long? the rest of your life? ha. hope you get the bike...and keep your hair how you want it...we cant live our lives by other people's opinion...otherwise i think we end up with a lot of regrets....if you think about it, our kids felt the same when they were teens and telling them how to do it...ha...

sage said...

Happy birthday! I hope it's a great one and you wear your hair as you like, maybe even blowing behind from underneath a helmet!

A Plain Observer said...

I feel I am missing much background to get the full impact of this post. I, too, find diplomacy very difficult with my mother, God knows I give it a good try. Somewhere a long the way, a seed of resentment was planted.